Silver Linings

Hi all, I let this blog lapse because life got busy. However, this past month and a half I've suffered a series of losses and feel the need to start writing again. My grandmother and mother both passed away and it became obvious it was time to put my father in a home due to advanced Alzheimer's disease. All of this happened between Thanksgiving and January 4th. A real shock to the system as it were. I don't even know if people read blogs anymore or if everyone has moved on to Instagram but I'm going to use this as a diary of sorts. I'm writing here for myself, if people read it, so much the better.

One of the things my sister and I are doing is looking for a silver lining in the dark clouds that have taken over our lives every day. We don't have to tell each other what they are, we just have to find one. I think it's a great way to focus on the positive. Some days there are several, some days it's not easy to find one.

Today's silver lining is a return to self care. When things went sideways, I started drinking to much, hardly eating at all, not exercising and generally stressing out. I realized that I couldn't make it through and come out the other end without taking care of myself. I cut out the drinking entirely, went back to my Barre3 practice and started paying attention to sleeping and eating. I'm still heavy of heart but feeling better in body.

Connections

One thing I find my self wondering about is the art of making (and keeping) personal connections. I sometimes feel like I have lots of connections and sometimes like I have none. I'm close to my sister, as we live close as well, but our lives are very different and so we don't really "connect" in the way I am thinking. I went to school out east and then moved home to the west coast and it seems that most of my close friends from those days are now of the Facebook friend/Christmas card list type. Over the years I have had groups of closer friends but all were somewhat "situational". Mostly they were the moms of my kids friends. Now my kids are older and I work full time. Sometimes that's lonely and I strive for connection but feel like I don't really know how to go about it. What do you do?

The Wardrobe Staples

There are certain items in my closet that I just can't live without. I may stray, I may flirt with other styles, but I always go back. I no longer think of it as a rut, I think of it as knowing what I like, feel comfortable and confident in and that makes me feel good. On almost any given day I can be found in some combination of the items below.

 The navy blazer simply something I can not live without. Mine is actually a treasured boys version from Brooks Brothers I have had for for longer than I care to say.  It's actually the second identical one I have, the other is being currently worn by my 13 year old daughter. I wear it to the office, out to dinner, over dresses. You name it. Actually, it is kind of funny, all 5 members of my family, husband and kids, have some version of this exact jacket. I rarely wear cardigans any more, somehow I think they look dowdy on me. I prefer the structure of a blazer.

 The Breton striped shirt. I'm partial to the ones from Boden, but have some from J Crew as well. I tend to stay to the classic navy/white combo but again, these go with everything and almost everywhere in my closet.

 Tailored, ankle length trousers. These are my go to office look, usually combined with the two items above. My office is business casual so this is the perfect look. I also love in the SF Bay Area so this is pretty much a year round look for me.

Dark, slim cut jeans. Also a staple. This pair is also from Boden but jeans are a personal thing. I like this shape more than boot cuts right now. Very "French" with my striped shirts!

And the final item is the structured flat. These are from Brooks Brothers and I have them in this great navy and a beautiful dark green croc pattern. I have foot and ankle issues so flats are a must for me.

So that's pretty much my uniform. Do you have one?

The importance of Structure

I'm always drawn to the easy, casual look of skorts and sneakers. Along the lines of the "Atha-Leisure" look that is so popular. These looks below all came from the most recent line at Athleta. These strike me as perfect for my weekend life. I could go from hiking with a friend to brunch, from ball park or soccer field to volunteer activities. The trouble I have is that I feel like these look to soft, for lack of a better word. I once read that the best way to minimize the "jiggly bits" was in structure clothes. It was described as follow: If you had a pile of chicken fat and put it in a zip lock bag, it's free so squish however and where ever it like. But if you but it in a Tupperware container, it has to conform to that shape. That made quite an impression on me and I have been trying to keep my bits in Tupperware. Pressed Bermuda shorts, nice tees and tops, tucked in, you get the picture. I'm still torn, though because these look so nice. What do you all think?

Examples

 Okay, so I haven't yet managed to get any pictures of my own style as I was trying to explain it last post. My main photographer is still in school and my oldest son, who is out, is in what I refer to as "full on slug mode". His job doesn't start until next week and so he has been sleeping until about 11 and then watching baseball on TV in the garage like a sloth. So I had to settle for these samples. All are from Brooks Brothers. I admit, it's my favorite place to shop. I would love to throw out everything in my closet and start fresh with everything in the store. I love the flagship store in downtown SF. When I was still working in the City I used to sometime go there at lunch, just for the atmosphere. I've actually not been crazy about the new Zac Posen stuff. I like the quality classics. These things are decent representatives. I actually own the camel coat in the second picture and the pants in the bottom one. I've had the camel coat since college, don't ask me how long ago that was!

Fashion in the Second Half

This is my, and hubby, very recently. One of the things I've noticed as I started this new project is that I have almost no pictures of my. This is a weekend shot taken by one of the kids on a recent trip to Half Moon Bay. It's not really a fashion shot, but for now it's the best I can do. I'll have to enlist the help of the kids to get a few more. So today I will described, then I'll try to get some pictures to illustrate.

I've always been a fan of the classic and traditional. I went to school on the East Coast and came home to California to go to law school. There are times I wish I'd never left but that's water long gone under the bridge. Anyway, after law school I ended up working in compliance for a large broker/dealer in downtown San Francisco, late 1990's. This was the traditional dark suit phase of my life. In early 2001 I had my first child and ended up staying home for several years when baby number 2 became babies 2 and 3 (twins), one of who had some developmental delays. Fashion there was about what you imagine when you have 3 under 3.

When I finally went back to work, again in broker/dealer compliance, this time at a bank, things had changed. I embraced the J Crew look of 2006. Think Emma Pillsbury, pencil skirt, cute top, cardigan and heels. Loved it.

Fast forward to now, it's 10 years later. First of all, that look is kind of over and second, things have changed. I'm now the Director of Compliance at a Silicon Valley hedge fund. And, well frankly, my feet hurt. I have arthritis and significant cartilage loss in my right foot and ankle, a souvenir from those cute heels! Plus, Silicon Valley is considerably more casual. My office is business casual, yet I manage a team of 4 and am one of the only 2 other senior women so I want to project authority.

My solution? Tailored cropped pants, shells or sweaters and blazers worn with classic pointed flats or loafers. I have short hair and narrow shoulders and somehow, no matter how much I like the look of a sharp button down, they look wrong. I also think that skirts and most dresses, worn with flats, either look dumpy or juvenile. I love dresses and skirts and am still drawn to them, I just find myself not reaching for them. I'll try and get some snaps but hopefully you get the picture.

Exercise, moving on

Exercise and movement have always been important to me. In high school and college I was a swimmer and serious equestrienne.  I ran and did high impact aerobics too. I have enough exercise DVd's to start a library. I still ride, although much less often and my rides tend to be gentle hacks rather than hard core show jumping over a 4 foot course.

What I have discovered is that I simply can't do those types of things right now. I now longer "bounce" when I take a fall from a horse I'm riding. I also have arthritis in my foot and ankle, the result of those long runs and aerobics. That does not mean I intend to fall into middle aged schlub. Not at all.

I discovered Barre3 when a studio opened up close to my house in January. Right from the first class, I was hooked. I've done barre classes before but always felt like the ugly duck among the thin, blond lulu lemon wearing clones. Not at Barre3. There are folks there of all ages and sizes, cheering each other on and sweating like crazy. Now, I go almost every day. They have a 6 am class everyday all week, which I never miss. They also have a great website with tons of videos that I can do if I am traveling on business.

The work out itself is amazing. It's completely low impact, not jumping, jolting or jarring. There are modifications for everything. Its all about balance and listening to your body but don't think it's not a kick ass work out. I end up dripping with sweat and shaking after every workout. But feeling so good I can't wait to come back.

Most importantly, I feel strong in a way I haven't in a long time. And that's a good thing!